You know I am just realizing how much I’ve changed in the last five years. It happened without my knowing it but I am sure others around me have been aware. Its humbling when age begins to dull the blade on skills that have served me so well my whole life. I am talking about changes in the way my brain works.
I am 68. The way my brain processes now may be due to the priorities of the developmental period – a time when relationships become much more important and the details of daily affairs less so. Emotional nuances become my preoccupations; observations about the interactions among my peers and colleagues, my family members; appreciation of the difficulties younger people have in making decisions about how to live; how blindly we go as youth but feel so self-assured. I find humor in a lot of it and can’t get too excited about some of the typical “dramas” that seem to have an eternal life in human affairs.
This new found wisdom can be seen as lack of drive or determination, but when you’ve seen certain types of individuals cause an array of problems over a lengthy period of time and in numerous kinds of situations, one becomes philosophical about it. Now, I am less inclined to try to “fix it”. At the same time I don’t want to be around it.
While these changes in me can cause problems in a work environment which does not understand nor appreciate and respect this kind of maturity, I rather like it and feel more at home in the world than in any other time of my life, except perhaps when I was very young and too inexperienced to worry about the way things are on this lovely, stressed out planet.
There may be a significant decision coming up for me. I would like to apply what I know to a big problem. This site may be a good resource for me.